👋 Jacob here
Alright, you know-it-alls, it’s time for a mind-bending concept: Sometimes, not knowing is your greatest strength. Yeah, you heard me right. Today, we’re diving into the power of strategic ignorance in negotiations.
Now, before you start questioning my sanity, let me be clear: I’m not advocating for actual ignorance. This isn’t a pass to skip your research or show up unprepared. What I’m talking about is the strategic use of “I don’t know” as a powerful negotiation tool.
In a previous newsletter, we discussed information asymmetry in job offer negotiations. The reality is that you never have the upper hand intel-wise heading into a compensation negotiation. And if you think you do, you’re probably wrong. So why not admit it?
In negotiations, people often expect you to have all the answers.
They come at you with questions, trying to pin you down, to find your weaknesses. And what do most people do? They bullshit. They make up answers, they overcommit, and they back themselves into corners.
But not you. Not anymore. You’re going to embrace the power of “I don’t know.”
Why? Because “I don’t know” does several magical things:
- It buys you time: “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” is a perfectly acceptable answer that prevents you from making hasty decisions.
- It shifts the power dynamic: Admitting ignorance often prompts the other side to reveal more information.
- It builds trust: Honesty about what you don’t know makes your knowledge more credible.
- It prevents overcommitment: You can’t be held to promises you never made.
My favorite way to say I don’t know is, “Can you help me understand?”
I once had a client – let’s call him Tom – who was negotiating a complex international business deal. (On Christmas go figure…) When asked about specific tax implications, instead of bullshitting, he simply said, “I don’t know the details of how that would work in your country. Can you help me understand?“
This prevented him from making costly mistakes and led the other party to reveal crucial information about their tax structure. Their answer gave us the leverage we needed to negotiate more guaranteed compensation into the deal.
So, how do you wield this superpower without looking incompetent?
Here’s your ignorance playbook:
- Be selective: Use “I don’t know” for genuinely complex or ambiguous issues, not basic facts you should know.
- Get more information: “Can you help me understand why this is important to you/the team/the customer/your boss?”
- Follow up with action: “I don’t know, but I’ll find out and get back to you by [specific time].”
- Turn it into a question: “I’m not certain about that. What’s your perspective on it?”
- Use it to challenge assumptions: “I don’t know if that’s the best approach. What if we tried X instead?”
Now, I can hear some of you protesting. “But Jacob, won’t this make me look weak or unprepared?” Only if you do it wrong. When used strategically, admitting what you don’t know makes you look more confident and trustworthy.
In complex negotiations, nobody has all the answers.
The person pretending they do is usually the weakest link. By admitting what you don’t know, you’re showing strength, not weakness.
Remember, your goal in a negotiation isn’t to prove how smart you are. It’s to achieve the best possible outcome. And sometimes, that means being smart enough to say “I don’t know.”
So the next time you’re in a high-stakes situation and you feel that urge to bullshit your way through an answer, stop. Take a deep breath. And embrace the power of “I don’t know.”
Stay fearless, friends.