👋🏻 Jacob here.
Let’s talk about trauma. It either breaks you or becomes rocket fuel.
My most successful clients are biased toward the latter, even when faced with enormous headwinds.
Bear with me while I share the foundation of this mindset—and how it will help your executive career right now.
I’ve shared pieces of my story before – being a child of sexual assault, sleeping in skateparks, battling demons that nearly won.
But here’s what I haven’t told you: Every scar, every survival lesson, every moment I wished someone would show up and champion my cause – it wasn’t just trauma.
It was training.
Training me to become exactly who I needed to be when I was drowning. The answer was always in the mirror.
A recent parenting quote stopped me: “You grow into the father who would have protected you as a child.”
That hits differently now that I have a son.
But here’s how I interpret that for my clients.
You must become the champion you wished you had.
Think about it.
Who did you desperately need in your corner when:
- You got passed over for that promotion
- Your company “restructured” your role away
- You felt like an impostor in the C-suite
- Your confidence was shattered
- You felt alone through a tough transition
Here’s the thing about influence and leadership that most “thought leaders” miss: It’s not about collecting LinkedIn followers or mastering corporate buzzwords.
Real influence – the kind that changes lives – comes from turning your scars into bridges. Your pain into purpose.
And we’ve all had plenty of career pain to go around.
The difference is what we choose to do with it. Do we let it define us, or do we let it refine us?
I didn’t build a career helping executives play big because I read some psychology and negotiation books (though Cialdini and Cohen are brilliant).
I did it because I learned to influence and negotiate for survival before I could drive. It’s baked into my DNA.
I’d argue that it’s baked into your DNA, too; you must unlock it and act on it now.
Want to be influential? Start here:
- Own your story (especially the parts that scare you)
- Look for others fighting battles (they’re everywhere once you start looking)
- Show up as the champion they need
- Expect nothing in return
- Watch how the universe conspires to lift you both
This isn’t just inspiration – it’s your invitation. To step up. To be more.
To become the leader others desperately need right now.
The most potent form of leadership isn’t found in an MBA program.
It’s found in the mirror when you decide to become what you need most.
Stay fearless, friends.
See you next week.